An open letter to my daughter on her 16th birthday

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Emily asleep in Joey Pouch Swaddle

I’m writing this open letter to my daughter on her 16th birthday as my second inspiration for creating Bubbaroo.  My first inspiration turned 18 last year.  Both my children are very different people and the way that I parent my son is very different from the way that I parent my daughter.  My “old soul” daughter has definitely been here before.  The one wish I have for my daughter is for her to use her potential and the opportunities that are given to her to make a difference in this world!  I look forward to guiding and supporting her on her life’s journey.

Open Letter to my 16 Year Old Daughter

To My Dearest Emily

Your brother Jacob is often credited as the inspiration for creating Bubbaroo but you in equal measure have inspired me in so many ways – to keep going when the road has become really challenging. I see so much of me in you – it’s really scary sometimes, it’s like a mirror reflecting back at me.

Pregnant with You

We found out that we were expecting you on Mother’s Day in 2006 whilst in Melbourne.  I was working and we also visited Uncle Jarrad in Melbourne.  It was quite a shock as we’d had such trouble falling pregnant with Jacob but Daddy and I were so elated.  Jacob had no idea what was going on and would get a rude awakening down the track when you arrived and rocked his world!

My pregnancy with you was fairly similar to Jacob with morning sickness and vomitting for most of the pregnancy – path of the course.  I thought at one point that I was going to miscarry as I started bleeding at about 13 weeks.  We were away on Hamilton Island after I’d been exhibiting Bubbaroo at the Pregnancy Babies & Children’s Expo in Brisbane.  I went to bed that night really distressed but you managed to stick!

I loved feeling you move inside of my “tummy house” – doing gymnastics, kicking and somersaults!   It gave me such a buzz but you always came alive so much more at night!  I think it was a sign to prepare me for what was to come after you were born!

I carried you all out in front so if you looked at me from behind you wouldn’t think I was actually pregnant!

Your Birth Story

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was so exhausted and had laboured breathing.  After an internal exam my obstetrician asked me whether I was ready mentally and physically to give birth to you.  I said “I was absolutely ready and my bag is already packed”.  Even though it was 10 days until your due date. I was already 2cm dilated so the obstetrician did something called “rimming the cervix”.  She said you would definitely come that day but on the off chance that it didn’t happen I was booked in for an induction 2 days later.  When the obstetrician walked into the birthing room 2 days later she said “I can’t believe you didn’t go into labour earlier” – nor could I!

In hospital about to give birth

Early in the morning on 11 January 2007 Daddy drove me to the hospital to give birth.  I was induced by having my waters broken.  I’d convinced my obstetrician not to give me the drug oxytocin to induce you.  She gave me 2 hours for things to start happening and then if they weren’t, she would use the oxytocin. I wouldn’t need it because just like Jacob my labour was very fast and furious!  I remember walking around with all the amniotic fluid leaking like I was wetting myself and then very quickly I went into transition, no time for any pain relief!  The obstetrician nearly didn’t make it to your birth!

The one thing I remember vividly was this massive rush of blood just before you appeared – very scary.  I also noticed the look of horror on the Obstetrician’s face.

You were born at 2.46pm on 11 January 2007.  You came out very blue and weren’t breathing initially, so your Apgar score was very low at 1 minute but had improved by the 5 minute score!

You took to feeding like a duck to water and I was so very grateful after the very challenging experience I had with breastfeeding Jacob.  You would snuggle into me and feed both sides in about 20 minutes – you were a very hungry baby!

Breastfeeding Emily just after birth

Jacob was the first person to meet you after you were born and I don’t think he really thought too much of you at first!  Then Nanna, GrandBob, Gran and Pop.

Jacob not too sure about his baby sister

Your First Year

Emily as a newborn skin to skin

You were just the most gorgeous baby – a blonde bombshell with great big blue eyes! You also had reflux but not nearly as severe as Jacob.  You loved sleeping in your Joey Pouch Swaddle Wrap. You would wear the Joey Pouch for all your sleeps and also when out and about.  I would do the night feed with you swaddled in the Joey Pouch.  I’d use the bottom opening zip to change your nappy so you were still swaddled and then you would settle back to sleep without a fuss!

Emily fast asleep in her Joey Pouch swaddle

You were so hyper-mobile that you could get your arms into really awkward positions.  You had a couple of ultra-sounds to check on your clicky hips but thankfully you didn’t need a brace.

At 4 weeks you developed a very high fever, you literally felt like an oven.  I took you to the After Hours GP and when the results came back negative for a urinary tract infection.  We were sent to Princess Margaret Hospital for Children (PMH) with a letter from the GP.  The Emergency doctors suspected Meningitis and they wheeled you off to the other side of the ER to have a spinal tap!  I wasn’t allowed to be with you and it broke my heart as they wheeled you away.  The Doctor couldn’t get a clear spinal tap after 3 attempts and therefore protocol was that you were admitted and started on IV antibiotics.  We ended up spending 3 nights in hospital.  I slept in a sofa chair that converted to a little bed.  You just slept a lot in your Joey Pouch with all the cords and IV coming out.  In the end you didn’t have Meningitis but a tummy bug called the Entro virus.

You were desperate to move and I recall as young as 4 months your attempts to crawl and becoming completely frustrated because you weren’t getting anywhere!  You camando crawled at 6 months and were crawling properly by 7 months!

Tummy time on play mat

You started solids at 4 months on the Paediatrician’s recommendation due to your reflux and you absolutely loved food!  One day at Mother’s group you were actually licking and trying to get any remnants of Neave’s food after not long being fed yourself!

Mummy and Daddy decided in our wisdom (or lack thereof) to take a family trip to Europe when you were 6 months old!   After being very restricted going anywhere when Jacob was a baby due to his reflux, associated distress and many hospital stays, you lulled us into a false sense of security.  On this trip you were a little bit of a nightmare – may be the issues you now have with flying stem from this trip.  You wanted to sleep on me the whole time while flying!  You would only sleep in a quiet room or when in the baby carrier (Daddy’s back took years to recover) never in the pram!  You wanted to be part of the action!  To be fair you were teething and this didn’t help matters.  This was the trip where the airline lost our luggage we were stuck at Heathrow at the height of the summer busy season and you were rightfully beside yourself – it was chaos!

Emily in baby carrier

We were again under the care and guidance of Dr Renee Shilkin for your reflux and middle ear issues.  Shortly after we arrived back from Europe you had an operation to have grommets inserted at 7 months to relieve the pressure in your middle ears.

At 10 months you took your first steps at Aunty Danielle and Uncle Murray’s house on Lachie’s 7th birthday!

Baby's first steps

You did not like Santa at all that first Christmas!  Nanna needed to get in the photo and

Emily's first Christmashold you but you were still very distressed even being held by Nanna.  On your first Christmas day it was a scorcher at 44°C!  You weren’t fussed with all the commotion and not that interested in presents.

We had a big celebration for your first birthday and I spent weeks preparing!  I made the Woman’s Weekly Carousel cake. Oh.My.God. that cake took me so long to make and I became obsessed wanting it to look exactly like the photo in the recipe book!  I think you were really overwhelmed by your first birthday!

Emily's first birthday cake

You had a little tumble part way through and grazed your forehead!  Later that night we went cold turkey with the dummy and you never asked for it again!

Your Next 15 Years in Snippets

You have always been so fiercely independent and wanted to do things on your own. Your generous, caring, compassionate, empathetic, oh so determined and a little bit cheeky!

One story that comes to mind was when you were 5 years old and we were living in Italy, you woke up early, got up and made yourself breakfast.  You then hopped on my laptop and proceeded to Skype first Nanna & GrandBob when they weren’t home you tried Gran & Pop not home either then finally you reached Uncle Jarrad and Aunty Terese in Melbourne.  You stayed on Skype chatting to them whilst Jacob and I slept.

There have been so many highlights in your 16 years and because I’m so naughty and haven’t printed out any photos I don’t think you would have seen many of these images!

You love to boss around Jacob now and try to mother him!  Try to remember that you’re his sister and I’m the mother!  I know deep down you love each other and are happy hanging out with each other and even more so now that Jacob has his driver’s licence!  I really hope that this continues on into adult-hood.

16 years in snippet images

The last year has seen massive changes as you turn into a young lady.  Settling into your second year of high school and developing so many friendships.  You revelled in all the activities being a valued member of Robo Cup, Drama, swimming team (even though you the interschool was cancelled due to COVID), cross country team and athletics team. You were also awarded 3 awards – the June Jones award, Humanities award and Digital Technology award.  Playing netball and soccer, surf club and Little Athletics, receiving the MVP award for soccer, with some very beautiful words spoken about your character.  The past year has seen you confront situations with maturity, empathy and compassion.  We’re so very proud of you.

16 years in photo snippets

My Hopes for You

Continue to Dance to the beat of your own drum

Please continue to dance to the beat of your own drum – don’t be a sheep, be different and unique!  You’re so giving, never expecting anything in return which is such a rare quality in someone of your age!  Give more than you receive and trust your gut instinct.

Remember that you’re a leader and being a great leader comes with great responsibility

You are a natural leader and people tend to follow you. You have great rapport with people of all ages and backgrounds.  Your kind heart, inclusiveness and loving nature make you so easily lovable.  You stand up for what you believe in no matter the personal consequences.  You have been recognised as a leader at school and we’re all very proud of all your achievements.

Remember that it’s OK to fail. It’s what you do next that matters

If you never fail, if you don’t have disappointment in your life, if you never have to struggle – then you’ll never know what it feels like to succeed. There will be times when you need to look deep inside and dig deep.  You will need to have courage and resilience to keep going!  Your only competition is yourself, so challenge yourself to achieve your own personal bests!

Appreciate life & the opportunities you’re given 

I wish so very much for you to use the enormous natural abilities you have and the opportunities given to make a real difference in this world!  Think of your sponsor sister Joyce in Zambia.  Continue to stand up for your beliefs and follow what you know in your heart to be true!

Follow Your Dreams

I encourage you to always follow your dreams but remember that more often than not it takes great courage and resilience to realise your dreams.  Nothing in life is easy but where there’s a will there’s a way!

Sometimes life is hard and doesn’t work out how you planned but trust this – you’re truly loved and you have the strength to get through.  You show great courage beyond your 16 years!  I look forward to continuing to guide and support you on your life journey.  Year 11 this year will be challenging but hopefully rewarding!

Love you always and forever

Mummy xxx

PS – You still need to go rowing training!

Nicole Cassey

written by

Nicole Cassey

Nicole Cassey, Mum to Jacob and Emily, founder and general dog’s body at Bubbaroo. Nicole was inspired to create Bubbaroo and Australia’s first swaddle after the personal experience she had with her first child, Jacob.

Nicole explains "It is such a steep learning curve becoming a parent. Getting to know the baby you created and finding your groove as a parent. You sometimes feel like you need to become a detective to try to interpret your baby's cues, personality, cries and behaviour. This is my passion to help parents on their journey, especially new parents as they transition to parenthood."

Nicole has a passion for sharing knowledge and community, regularly organising and presenting at various expectant parent and sleep workshops. Nicole ensures she is up to date with the latest evidence-based safe sleep and health research. Bubbaroo collaborates with experts in their field that share similar values and philosophies and have a passion for helping and supporting parents and expectant parents.

Nicole’s attention to detail with the creation of her premium quality baby, toddler and child sleepwear is exceptional. Nicole has been committed to ensure that Bubbaroo is not just a mass market brand producing products, Nicole’s focus is on helping your baby sleep safely in products that stand the test of time.

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