Good Mental Health for New Parents

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Good mental health for parents,  including expectant parents, is so important and I cannot it emphasise it enough. This week is Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Awareness Week. PANDA was established in 2005 and since then has been a leader in the perinatal mental health sector. PANDA aims to promote awareness about perinatal anxiety and depression, including signs to look for and where to go to seek support.

The theme of this year’s PANDA campaign is “Let’s Get Real”. It’s time to “get real” and acknowledge that this is a real problem with serious consequences. There can be a lot of baggage around mental health, but the more people that are aware, the more that can be done to help those in need.

PANDA wants all of us to spread the message far and wide to help break down the stigma that stops people from getting help. It is a real problem and many people don’t understand how serious it can be if left untreated.

Mental Health Issues are Common

I’ve been blown away by the statistics on mental illness whilst researching for this blog article.  Mental illness is so very common but there is still a stigma attached to it. Did you know that one in five (that’s 20%) of Australians aged 16-85 experience a mental illness in any year. 45% of Australians will experience a mental illness in their lifetime!

Beyond the facts and figures are real people suffering from mental illness!  Most people have been touched at some point by mental illness whether it’s a friend, family member or personally.

Everyone Needs to Help

We all need to help promote social and emotional well being to the community, encourage people to maximise their health potential, enhance the coping capacity of communities, families, individuals and increase good mental health recovery.

Both Parents Need Attention

Good mental health means that both Mum and Dad are feeling positive and getting the support they need. Up to one in five expecting or new mothers and one in ten expecting or new fathers will experience perinatal anxiety or depression.

According to the PANDA website, panda.org.au, “anxiety and depression are common during pregnancy and early parenthood across  all cultural and socio-economic communities. Getting the right help early will lead to a faster recovery. Yet too often, expecting and new parents don’t seek help when they are struggling. As a result, many suffer for longer than necessary”.

Mums often have to adjust quickly to the demands of motherhood, usually under a cloud of sleep deprivation. New fathers also need support as they adjust to their new role and try to support their partner.  It happened to me – I know that sleep deprivation and the health issues with my first born Jacob lead me down a very dark path. I did manage to get myself back on track, but I realise now that life is never going to be easy and I need to manage my stress and anxiety!  I’ve found that if I’m mentally healthy and positive this permeates through to the whole family.

Some Questions You Might Ask Yourself

Some feelings new Mums and Dads might have are:

  • I don’t know what’s going on but I just don’t feel like myself
  • It’s hard not to stop thinking about the birth…it was nothing like I had planned
  • I’m so raw and on edge if anyone says anything to me I’m going to break down and cry
  • I hate being a mother/father…I feel so guilty
  • All these mums on social media their lives are so perfect and I’m a failure
  • I’m struggling in my relationship…everything has changed since the birth of my baby
  • Why don’t I feel that instant bond with my baby?…I’m a bad parent
  • I am so tired I just can’t do this anymore
  • This parenting thing is just too hard…I want to run away

What is Antenatal Anxiety and Depression?

This is when anxiety or depression sets in during pregnancy. Of course it is normal to experience anxiety in the lead up to the birth of a baby. According to PANDA, if you experience any of the following symptoms and they last for more than 2 weeks, then you need to seek help:

  • Panic attacks (a racing heart, palpitations, shortness of breath, shaking or feeling physically ‘detached’ fromyour surroundings)
  • Persistent, generalised worry, often focused on fears for the health or well-being of the baby
  • The development of obsessive or compulsive behaviours
  • Abrupt mood swings
  • Feeling constantly sad, low, or crying for no obvious reason
  • Being nervous, ‘on edge’, or panicky
  • Feeling constantly tired and lacking energy
  • Having little or no interest in all the normal things that bring joy (like time with friends, exercise, eating, or sharing partner time)
  • Sleeping too much or not sleeping very well at all
  • Losing interest in sex or intimacy
  • Withdrawing from friends and family
  • Being easily annoyed or irritated
  • Finding it difficult to focus, concentrate or remember (people with depression often describe this as a ‘brain fog’)
  • Engaging in more risk taking behaviour (e.g., alcohol or drug use)
  • Having thoughts of death or suicide.

What is Perinatal Anxiety and Depression?

This is when the anxiety and depression sets in the year after the baby’s birth. Having a baby is such an exciting time but there is also so much changing in your life and you have a new little person to take care of. Lack of sleep can make things even more difficult. PANDA has identified the following signs and symptoms of perinatal anxiety and depression can vary and may include:

  • Panic attacks (a racing heart, palpitations, shortness of breath, shaking or feeling physically ‘detached’ from your surroundings)
  • Persistent, generalised worry, often focused on fears for the health or well-being of baby
  • The development of obsessive or compulsive behaviours
  • Increased sensitivity to noise or touch
  • Changes in appetite: under or overeating
  • Sleep problems unrelated to the baby’s needs
  • Extreme lethargy: a feeling of being physically or emotionally overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of chores and looking after baby
  • Memory problems or loss of concentration (‘brain fog’)
  • Loss of confidence and lowered self esteem
  • Constant sadness or crying
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • Fear of being alone with baby
  • Intrusive thoughts of harm to yourself or baby
  • Irritability and/or anger
  • Increased alcohol or drug use
  • Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

If you experience any of the above, please seek help urgently.

Baby Blues

These feelings of sadness and overwhelm can often occur within the few days after the birth. It is a very common feeling and often happens due to a combination of trying to care for your new baby, lack of sleep, learning to feed, milk supply coming in and associated hormone changes – it can all build up to make you feel irritable and teary. With support, these feelings can be resolved and will not necessarily lead to post natal depression. If you do have these feelings though, it is important to address them and monitor yourself to make sure that it doesn’t lead into a bigger issue.

Ask for Help If You Need It

If you have any thoughts or feelings along these lines you’re definitely not alone and should seek help and support as soon as possible, please don’t suffer in silence – reach out to someone that you trust and ask for help. It takes courage to ask for help, but you need to do it for yourself, your baby and your family.

Start a Conversation

Are you concerned about someone close to you? your partner (both women and men experience antenatal depression), a family member or a friend?

  • Diplomatically try to ask them how they are feeling and see if they can tell you what’s been happening.
  • Give them reassurance that you are there to help and that they are not alone.
  • tell them that there are things that can be done to help.
  • Gently suggest that they talk to their GP or another health professional.
  • Do something practical by offering help – doing some washing, cleaning their house, watching the baby while they sleep, bringing them some home cooked meals for the freezer.

Ways to Improve Good Mental Health

We have also written another Blog on 11 tips to help stay mentally healthy which may be helpful to you and your family if you’re not suffering from anxiety or depression and want to make sure you stay on track. Good mental health requires effort and attention to make sure you stay on track.

You also need to be aware of Postnatal Psychosis which is a very serious mental health illness that is potentially life threatening for both Mum and baby.  It’s important to remember that it can happen without any prior history of mental illness.  Severe sleep deprivation and rapid changes after birth can be contributing factors.  If you suspect you, your partner or relative may be experiencing Postnatal Psychosis then please seek help immediately.

Where to Get Help

Some organisations you can contact for help and support are:
Your GP or other healthcare professional
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia – www.panda.org.au or phone 1300 726 306
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 – www.beyondblue.org.au
Act Belong Commit www.actbelongcommit.org.au
Community Child Health nurse – contact via the Health Department in your state

Nicole Cassey

written by

Nicole Cassey

Nicole Cassey, Mum to Jacob and Emily, founder and general dog’s body at Bubbaroo. Nicole was inspired to create Bubbaroo and Australia’s first swaddle after the personal experience she had with her first child, Jacob.

Nicole explains "It is such a steep learning curve becoming a parent. Getting to know the baby you created and finding your groove as a parent. You sometimes feel like you need to become a detective to try to interpret your baby's cues, personality, cries and behaviour. This is my passion to help parents on their journey, especially new parents as they transition to parenthood."

Nicole has a passion for sharing knowledge and community, regularly organising and presenting at various expectant parent and sleep workshops. Nicole ensures she is up to date with the latest evidence-based safe sleep and health research. Bubbaroo collaborates with experts in their field that share similar values and philosophies and have a passion for helping and supporting parents and expectant parents.

Nicole’s attention to detail with the creation of her premium quality baby, toddler and child sleepwear is exceptional. Nicole has been committed to ensure that Bubbaroo is not just a mass market brand producing products, Nicole’s focus is on helping your baby sleep safely in products that stand the test of time.

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