Table of Contents
Are you heading back to work after baby’s birth? This is a huge milestone for you and your baby. It’s natural to feel anxious about work after baby, leaving your baby for long periods and questioning yourself about your return to work. Some mums may feel pushed to return to work before they are ready due to financial commitments – there’s a mortgage and bills to pay! It’s a challenging time! Other mums feel excited to return to work for their own sanity. This in turn cause some level of guilt about leaving their baby.
Those first few weeks back at work can be very difficult to say the least. Some Mums find that the the thought of leaving their baby causes far more anxiety than than the actual event itself. Things will get easier…
We’ve listed below some ideas to help make the transition back to work as smooth as possible:
Finding a Carer
Number 1 on your list should be finding a reliable nanny, au pair, grandparent/relative, childcare or family day care that you trust and feel completely comfortable with. This will give you confidence that your child is in the best possible care. If you have your parents, parents in law or a relative wanting to help you then you need to make sure that the important ground rules are agreed upfront. Having a relative or grandparent care for your child has good points but bear in mind that looking after a baby or toddler for 8 to 10 hours a day is really exhausting. Maybe a compromise of a relative and childcare or a nanny may work for you. Every family’s circumstances are different so you need to find what works best for you and sometimes circumstances change.
A Friend to Lean On
Find someone at work who you can confide in. Hopefully there are other mums in the office who have just come back to work. They may be able to offer support or a tissue if you need one. It’s normal to feel a little sad away from your baby – especially in the early weeks. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You might also feel fantastic that you have a baby and a career and you get to go out and talk to adults again in a world that is familiar to you – every Mum is different just like every baby is different. You may find it helpful to talk to your colleagues about their experience. There is often someone just ahead of you in the parenting timeline who can offer timely advice because they’ve “been there and done that”. Just bear in mind that every person’s family situation is different.
In my circle of friends there have been situations where the husband was the stay at home parent and the wife returned to work. I know of others that have each worked part-time and shared raising their children. Then there are workers that do FIFO (fly in fly out) where one of the parents is alone for long periods of time raising the children and it’s more difficult or not feasible for them to return to work outside the home. Then there are those that have decided they want to stay at home and have a long break from the workforce. Others have no choice but to return to work due to financial reasons. Find what works for you.
Stay Positive & Focussed
Try to be positive. You have reasons for going back to work so focus on them. It’s amazing how a positive attitude can lead to success and reduce stress! Recognise the positives that come with you being at work such as your child getting used to being with other people and away from you. Children can become more independent and thrive from the experience. I know my kids absolutely loved going to daycare and it worked for us.
Try to stay focused on the task at hand, sometimes easier said than done. When you’re at work, concentrate on work. When you’re at home, concentrate on home. You might find that you’re more productive at each task, even though you have more to do. It is hard to be fully focussed when you’re not getting enough sleep or getting interrupted sleep so make sure sleep is your top priority.
Plan Ahead.
Try to get your baby into some sort of a sleep routine before you go back to work. It might make the transition easier for both of you.
If you’re still breastfeeding and planning to express while you’re at work then your employer needs to ensure they have suitable facilities for you to express, somewhere you can store a breast pump and a fridge to store any breast milk. You can find out more about your rights on returning to work after parental leave here. Go into the office ahead before your back to work date and investigate the options. You could also take some personal items or some photos of your baby for your desk or work space to help you feel more at home.
Have a Practise Run
Some working mums suggest getting onto the routine the week before you go back to work. Try waking up in time to prepare for work and starting daycare a few weeks ahead of time. This will allow time for your baby to adjust and for you to get used to expressing milk at the times when you plan to do so at the office. All these little things can add up to a significantly easier transition on your first week back.
Prepare the Night Before
Get your clothes ready the night before and baby’s childcare bag ready too – making sure they have their Joey Swag baby sleeping bag in the bag to make it easier for your baby to settle to sleep outside of their usual home environment. Also prepare any instructions for the Nanny or relative caring for your child! Prepare your lunch or your child’s lunch if required the night before so that mornings are easier. In our house my husband prepares the kids lunches for school whereas I’m “Mum’s Taxi”.
Do some Meal Prep
Meal wise you could try to prep as much as you can on the weekend. Try getting your grocery shop done on the weekend or preparing a few meals for the week ahead. When my babies were little a friend recommended I buy a slow cooker. She was spot on! I could do all the prep in the morning and then let it bubble away for the day and come home to a delicious, healthy meal with little washing up. We also eat very simply – a piece of meat, fish or chicken and then throw together a salad or vegetables. Then on the odd night we’ll go out for a quick meal or order in take-away so we don’t have to cook or clean up!
Take Notes
Write things down! Keep a notepad handy in case you think of things whilst on the run or at your desk. That way you can deal with them after work. If you’re still getting up a lot at night it can be hard to remember things!
Enjoy your Break
Enjoy your lunch break or a coffee break. It’s important to take some time for yourself because when you arrive home you will be in high demand! Get some fresh air at lunch, pack your sneakers and go for a walk or read a book in a cafe. Time for yourself will help nurture your spirit.
Make a Date Night
Don’t forget to take time out with your partner as well. Being torn between work and home gives little time for leisure. Make sure you schedule in some time for a dinner out or a movie if you have someone to babysit.
Forget the Guilt
Don’t feel guilty if you leave work on time. Your work hours and terms should all be agreed and ironed out with your employer prior to returning to work. This means that everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect. It’s amazing how being a mum can get your priorities in order and make you more efficient at work.
Live in the Moment
You can still enjoy the special moments with your baby whether it’s breakfast together or the bath time routine. These are great ways to bond and be present with your baby even after you head back to work.
Remember a positive attitude is always helpful. I know it’s hard trying to juggle but remember if it’s not working for you then you can change your mind – you have options. It may work for a while but plans may change if you have another child in the future or your family circumstances change. Try to be flexible and see what works best for you. Make decisions based on what suits you, your baby and your family.